in honor of my little sister’s first day at college and the fact that i live unnervingly close to my own old campus, (having to see NYU buses on the daily and not being able to enter my local hardware store for the next two weeks without being crushed by freshman wielding plastic storage bins wearing class of 2018 emblazoned violet paraphernalia) and also the endless TC and buzzfeed listcicles announcing the best way to avoid date rape, alcohol poisoning, and vengeful TA’s (inspired by this one in particular) i present 7 tips for not getting crushed by your first year of pretend adulthood by someone who made it it through said process mostly intact in nyc at a school with no campus (so take it with a take out packet of salt)
- there is no such thing as a clean slate: if you think that now that you’re in college you are going to magically become a totally different person, all your problems will disappear down the gutter and overnight you will suddenly be transformed into this confident individual you’re shitting yourself. come to terms with your baggage because it isnt going anywhere.
- stop hoarding: throw away your fucking high school notebook are you fucking me. burn all your papers at the end of each semester please! the only thing you should be saving are expensive textbooks (sell them when you graduate for cashmoney).
- do drugs: this one should be self explanatory but they will keep you sane, make life more colorful and you will not have time after you graduate to devote to safely and responsibly trying new substances
- get off campus: get a job, get an internship, volunteer. you will meet a broader range of people and actually have a resume when you graduate. no one in the Real World cares if you were the vice grand wizard of your school’s Most Important Club
- Be independent: gotta agree with this one. but i do remember how when i first got to school being anywhere alone felt like The Worst Thing Ever. treasure it! you will rarely be completely alone in the next four years. not constantly being around people is nice
- Learn how to use the academic journal search engine: firstly, in never took a single book out the the nyu library. granted i also stopped bothering to buy my textbooks or do assigned readings but thats a different discussion. granted my major was social science-y meaning i was constantly reading journal articles but i think this applies to everyone. research is a good skill to have regardless of you field and your university has access/membership to unusual journals you wont find anywhere else
- Sleep is sacred: dont pull an all nighter. just dont do it. even if you only get to sleep 2 or 3 hours it is worth it. dont rely to heavily on any substance to go to sleep or wake up. you will get a cold during every exam season if you dont actually sleep. also, you may think you have no time to sleep in college but i promise you will have way less time to do so when you graduate. so seriously dont schedule classes earlier than 10 am because you will stop going to them after the midterm and sleep on whenever you can.
(yes the above photo is me and some people i dont like anymore from freshman year! have fun making friends bitchezzz)